The Ugly Parade.
Dear god, I finally found it.
Everyday that I surfed Nosara, Guiones actually, and looked shoreward from the blue waters and pristine beach, like a beautiful woman with a gaping eye socket, the lush and tropical beauty of the land was marred by a house so grotesquely envisioned, so egregiously ugly, so monumentally hideous, that I could not bring myself to take a picture of it if only to remind myself that the end of humanity itself as a species is not necessarily a bad thing.
But I found it on line, and apparently, they are trying to sell it.
Features:Casa Pacifico, with over 3,700 square feet of construction, was completed in 2006 and is being sold turn-key and fully furnished with high-end furniture and appliances, including Euromobilia kitchen and with 10 meters of granite surfaces. The property has been designed and executed with painstaking level of detail not found in the area and is in move-in condition.
Apparently even the real estate agent found it advantageous to avoid taking pictures of the outside of the house, but there is one image on line, and I bring it to you, and I beg you: please, please please, unless you are going to cure cancer with the profits, do not ever build anything like this.
No, even this image cannot do it justice. You have to imagine that the owner of this gem owned an entire forested hill overlooking the pacific. His tribute to the land, and the decades of reforestation that rebuilt a functioning ecosystem on that hill was to bulldoze the entire thing, and cut the top off to shore up retaining walls. He paved the whole damn thing, and slapped this monstrosity up there.
The other side of the house has a matching cylinder...thing. I dont know what the point of these are, unless it is to offend God. The other cylinder thing faces the same way. The house is in varying shades of pastel. There was enough concrete used to pave a freeway offramp (which, incidentally, is a far more beautiful structure than this house).
he wants 2.15 million. If I had 2.15 million, I would buy it, then hire a team of Czech explosive experts to blow it up. I would then dance around the smoldering ruins chanting "the wicked witch is dead". I would urinate on the flames. Its hideous.- but I have probably communicated that by now.
Its too much to hope that the new owners will have the good taste to implode it, but again, if you visit Nosara, implore you, for your own sake, avoid looking to the northern side of the beach.
Dear god, I finally found it.
Everyday that I surfed Nosara, Guiones actually, and looked shoreward from the blue waters and pristine beach, like a beautiful woman with a gaping eye socket, the lush and tropical beauty of the land was marred by a house so grotesquely envisioned, so egregiously ugly, so monumentally hideous, that I could not bring myself to take a picture of it if only to remind myself that the end of humanity itself as a species is not necessarily a bad thing.
But I found it on line, and apparently, they are trying to sell it.
Features:Casa Pacifico, with over 3,700 square feet of construction, was completed in 2006 and is being sold turn-key and fully furnished with high-end furniture and appliances, including Euromobilia kitchen and with 10 meters of granite surfaces. The property has been designed and executed with painstaking level of detail not found in the area and is in move-in condition.
"Painstaking level of detail". Absolutely. This design must have caused great pain to the architect unless he simply fell asleep on his autoCAD keyboard and then woke with a terrible hangover and sent it on to the client who was a deaf mute, and building it must have been akin to an execution for the poor tico constructing company that accepted the role of mangling their own homeland. My god.
Apparently even the real estate agent found it advantageous to avoid taking pictures of the outside of the house, but there is one image on line, and I bring it to you, and I beg you: please, please please, unless you are going to cure cancer with the profits, do not ever build anything like this.
No, even this image cannot do it justice. You have to imagine that the owner of this gem owned an entire forested hill overlooking the pacific. His tribute to the land, and the decades of reforestation that rebuilt a functioning ecosystem on that hill was to bulldoze the entire thing, and cut the top off to shore up retaining walls. He paved the whole damn thing, and slapped this monstrosity up there.
The other side of the house has a matching cylinder...thing. I dont know what the point of these are, unless it is to offend God. The other cylinder thing faces the same way. The house is in varying shades of pastel. There was enough concrete used to pave a freeway offramp (which, incidentally, is a far more beautiful structure than this house).
he wants 2.15 million. If I had 2.15 million, I would buy it, then hire a team of Czech explosive experts to blow it up. I would then dance around the smoldering ruins chanting "the wicked witch is dead". I would urinate on the flames. Its hideous.- but I have probably communicated that by now.
Its too much to hope that the new owners will have the good taste to implode it, but again, if you visit Nosara, implore you, for your own sake, avoid looking to the northern side of the beach.
posted by warnerk at
12:10 PM
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